Title: His Captain and His Angel 4/22
Pairing: Jack/Ianto, Ianto/John
Spoilers: Mild for COE (background information)
Summary: Captain John Hart always gets what he wants.
Disclaimers: I own nothing.
Notes: This is the third in the series of stories about Ianto’s past. It follows Blue Moon’s Child and The Lost Son. I’ll be posting this once a day until it is finished. Special thanks go to czarina_kitty for being such a wonderful Beta. Also thanks to rowanheart24 for helping me brainstorm the original idea. Comments please!
Ianto is floating. Stars drift in front of his eyes. All the colours of the rainbow surround him. He is in heaven. This must be heaven.
John is holding his hand, touching his face, looking into his eyes. “Do you trust me?” he’s asking.
Ianto gazes at him, watching the way his edges blur in the bright light.
John cups his face firmly. “Do you trust me?” His voice is hard, demanding Ianto answer.
Ianto wants to obey him. He wants to obey John in every way. “Yes,” he says. “I trust you.”
John smiles at him. “Then come with me.”
Ianto is being led down the beach. He can feel sand under his bare toes, dry at first and hot. Now it is wet and sticks to his skin.
Now he is in the sea; the cool water cleansing his skin.
John is still holding his hand, firm and in control. They walk forwards. The water creeps up their bodies, the sea taking them into its embrace.
“Is it safe?” Ianto asks.
John puts his arm around him. “I’ve got you.”
Ianto gives himself up to John’s embrace. This is right. This feels real.
They are shoulder deep in the sea, naked bodies pressing close together.
“Who are you?” he asks.
John kisses his cheek. “I’m your guardian angel, Ianto. God sent me to look after you.”
Ianto gazes up at the pale blue sky. “God sent you,” he murmurs. “To look after me.”
John rocks him and Ianto feels safe and loved. “All for you,” he whispers and holds Ianto tight.
Ianto woke suddenly. He was in his own bed in his own house. He’d felt as though he’d been somewhere else. But here he was, in bed, just the same as normal. He could hear his toilet flushing and a minute later, Jack emerged. He was naked and crossed Ianto’s bedroom casually and slipped into bed with him.
“You’re awake then.” He put his arm around Ianto’s shoulders.
Ianto stared at him. “You…”
Ianto pulled back and sat up. “You don’t feel right,” he said and got up. He grabbed pants and a shirt and left the room.
Dressed, he went through to the kitchen and began to make coffee. He went through the motions slowly, carefully, like a ritual. It soothed him a little.
Jack appeared in the doorway, dressed now and with a tight face. “You okay?” he asked.
Ianto glanced at him. He looked like a stranger.
“You’re not…I don’t know who you are.”
Jack stared at him, then he smiled a little and came closer. “’Course you do.” He reached out and touched Ianto gently on the shoulder. “It’s Jack.”
Ianto looked at him. “I know. You’re…you’re Jack Harkness. I know that. I know we fucked last night, that we fuck most nights but…”
“It doesn’t feel real.”
Jack twitched and Ianto could tell he wanted to go to him. But he hung back. Ianto leaned against the counter and watched him. There was something telling him to hug Jack but something else told him to stay away. His head throbbed with confusion.
Ianto knew he was going to be in trouble. John had dropped him off an hour ago and Ianto had dawdled along the streets, not really wanting to go home. Da would not be happy. He felt strange. The day was a blur. All he knew was that John had come to look after him. He had been sent to him. Ianto touched his cross, then used his key and stepped into the house.
The TV was blaring in the living room. Ianto sneaked past and began to make his way upstairs. The lounge door opened.
“Where do you think you’re going, boy?” Da’s voice came suddenly, low and dangerous.
Ianto stopped and, very slowly, turned and looked back. His da’s weary face was tight with anger.
“Up to my room,” Ianto said.
“Mister Burton called for you. You didn’t go into work today. You didn’t even call them.”
Ianto shrugged. “I went out.”
“Out? Where? Where did you go that was more important than your job?”
Ianto scowled. “It’s none of your fucking business.”
Iestyn raised a finger. “Don’t you dare talk to me like that, boy. I don’t care how old you are. You’re under my roof and I will punish you if I have to.”
Ianto drew himself up. “I don’t care what you do to me. Do what the hell you like.” He turned back up the stairs. “I’m going to bed.”
“You can stay up there then. Except for work, you are staying in your bedroom. You dare come out and you’ll know what for,” Iestyn yelled after Ianto.
Ianto ran up to his bedroom and slammed the door behind him.
He threw himself on his bed, fuming. Da didn’t give a damn about him. He just wanted to boss him around. That was all he ever did, boss him around, yell at him or ignore him.
Ianto got up and opened his sketchbook. He turned to John’s picture and gazed at it. His guardian angel. He smiled. Yes, John was going to save him from this. All he had to do was to what he told him. He hoped he saw him again soon.
He cut the picture out from the sketchbook and put it in his pocket. He was going to keep it close to him. He was going to keep John close to him.
He lay back on his bed and sighed. He rubbed his tummy. He felt hungry. That was strange. He hadn’t felt hungry for a while. He sat up, pondering the feeling. It had been years since he’d felt that. He’d eaten, when he was made to, for years but hunger, he had banished.
He got up, smiling. He felt hungry and he was going to eat.
He opened his door quietly. His da had gone back in the living room and would be sitting in front of the blaring TV with a beer. He did that every night.
Ianto slipped off his shoes and tiptoed downstairs. Despite what he’d said, he really did care what his da did. He had many strains on his life and Ianto knew he was one of the most stressful. Ianto didn’t want to find out what he’d do this time.
He reached the bottom of the stairs. His da didn’t appear. Ianto took a deep breath, then tiptoed past the open living room door as fast and as quietly as he could. He reached the kitchen door, opened it and slipped inside.
In the dark, he crossed to the fridge. His hand was on the handle, when the kitchen door crashed open. Ianto jumped and the fridge door flung open. His da was standing in the doorway glaring at him.
“By God, you can’t obey simple instructions, can you boy? What did I tell you?”
Ianto opened and closed his mouth several times. He wanted to give attitude. He wanted to scream and shout at his da but there was a persistent voice inside him telling him to hush, be quiet and not make it worse.
Da was getting frustrated. “Didn’t I tell you? Didn’t I say if you came out of your room, you’d know what for?”
Ianto’s eyes caught his da’s hands going for his belt and he thought he’d better talk quick. “Da, I’m sorry. I was hungry.”
His da’s mouth opened. His hands dropped. He smiled. “You’re hungry? Really?”
“Yeah. Did you do me any tea?”
A few lines seem to disappear from Iestyn’s face. “There’s spag bol.” He patted Ianto on the shoulder as he passed him. “Switch the light on and sit yourself down. I’ll heat it up for yer.”
Ianto did as he was told and sat down. “Thanks, Da.”
Ianto watched as his da heated up the sauce in the pain and microwaved the spaghetti. He seemed lighter like this, less weighed down. Ianto felt guilt twisting his insides. He knew how much strain he put on his da and he didn’t know why he did it. Things just happened like that. He watched himself going mad, mouthing off, not eating and he saw exactly what it did to his da but he couldn’t stop it.
His da served up the Spaghetti Bolognese and sat with him as he ate it. Ianto found himself eating slowly. He couldn’t eat quickly anymore. His body wouldn’t let him. But his da didn’t seem in a rush. He just sat with him.
Ianto glanced up at him. “I’m sorry, Da,” he said.
Iestyn met his eyes briefly, then looked away.
Ianto felt more was needed. “For mouthing off at you, I mean. I…I don’t know why I…I don’t know why I’m like this.” He swallowed hard, forcing his sob away. Da didn’t like him to cry.
His da didn’t look at him. The silence hung for several minutes before Iestyn took a deep breath. “Rhiannon says we need our heads knocking together.” He reached out and cuffed Ianto’s head affectionately. “She’s right.”
Ianto laughed. “Yeah, guess so.” He ate one more mouthful of his tea, then put down his fork. “Da, am I still grounded?”
Iestyn sighed heavily. “I dunno what to do with you, Ianto. Nothing I do seems to be right.”
Ianto didn’t know what to say so he kept his mouth shut.
Iestyn sighed again. “You done with that?” He gestured to Ianto’s plate, still half full.
Iestyn got up and tidied it away. “You going to tell me where you were today?”
“I…” Ianto hesitated. He wanted to. He wanted to tell his da everything, open up entirely to him. But he pictured his da’s face if he told him. He’d get uncomfortable and he’d get angry.
He shrugged. “I was with a friend.”
Iestyn tipped Ianto’s plate into the sink, then turned to face Ianto. “You need to start taking your life seriously, Ianto. I’m not going to bail you out if you lose your job.”
Ianto sighed. “I get it, Da.”
“It’s time you started getting yourself up and into work. I’m not giving you any more money for you to just piss off without a care.”
“All right, all right. Can’t you just belt me instead of this bloody lecture?”
Iestyn gave Ianto a look. “That’s enough with the smart mouth, Ianto. You’re an adult now and it’s adult responsibilities and adult consequences from now on. Get it?”
Ianto sighed again. “Yes, Da.”
Iestyn patted him on the shoulder. “Think on, Ianto-bach. We’re on our own here and we’ve got to do what we can.”
Ianto looked down at his hands. “I know, Da.”
His da left and returned to the living room. Ianto sat there thinking. He felt strange, like he was up above his body looking down on the things he was doing. He was torn between wanting to hang onto to his old life, wanting to do as his da said and make something of himself and wanting to run away with John.
With a huge sigh, Ianto got up and returned to his bedroom. He got undressed and got in bed. Da was right. He needed to make something of himself.
He picked up his picture of John and gazed at it. Yes, John would save him. That was why he was here. He was Ianto’s guardian angel and he was going to save him.